I'm back! I wish I knew where to start, the journey has been long, over many many days, yet, when I look back, it's a blur. Why does that always happen? One minute you're living, the next, remembering. I guess that's why photography is a medium that has become an inseparable part of who I am, and now, what I do. It's become the tool I use to keep my experiences in chronological order, a companion to my memories, always approaching, but never crossing that line of physical experience. Even when I was a youngin, I used to sit for hours with my family's photo albums, dating back to before my brother and I were even conceived of, to a time strangely relatable, always looking for the small details and clues, like, what time of the year was it when the picture was taken?, who are all the people?, who's making what fashion statement?, why is my mother laughing flirtatiously next to a man who isn't my father?, and such..surely, such questions a six or a seven or an eight year old shouldn't be asking, but that was just where those photos took me. It helped a lot that my family, going all the way back the last 70 years have continued to document the lives of their families and those around them with conviction, memories perfectly impressed onto paper, and subsequently, my memories. They have made me feel like I was there, that the image of my mother in those photos are actually me, that I didn't actually miss out on all those 'good old days'.
And now, here I am many many years later, having done a full circle from the city of my birth, to the desert, to the land of the tundra, and back again, in a short, almost 23 years. I came back to India, to Calcutta to add that meaning in my life which I was sorely missing living in Canada, to initiate the journey of 'finding oneself.' Of course, in this process, you must first thoroughly lose yourself, hit bottom, before you can pick yourself up, and start afresh. Now, 2 1/2 years later, I've chosen a career for myself (or was it the other way round?), my feet are planted firmly on the ground (most of the time) and I'm slowly moving towards the person I want to be.
Life is no cruel aunt, she has a wild sense of humour, full of irony, serendipity and drama. One only has to open the eyes we were born with, not the eyes we have learnt to see with, but the eyes we first met the world with and therein lies an understanding no priest could bless you with, no book could educate you with and no teacher to teach you with.
Which brings me back to photography, it has taught me to look out for those finely woven in details of life that we are forever too busy missing, capturing them not just with my camera's eye but also with my mind's eye. I see people through a filter, much like my lens, I hear echoes, voices and visions like the sound of the shutter dropping at the perfect moment, and I feel the pulse of life at my fingertips, every time I caress the power button. My photographic eye is discerning but never judgemental, timely but never disrespectful, and always composed in thirds: part vision, part subject, part detail.
Every place I have visited in the past two years, two months, two weeks continues to vibrate within me, and my vibration on each place can still be felt in the lands that my feet have traversed, until I complete nature's endless lesson of 'coming around, full circle.'
My body is still young, and my mind still fresh, but my soul has lived a thousand lives, each one a speck of gold in a ray of sunshine. All I'm really looking for in this life is to leave an impression of goodness, my role as catalyst repeatedly bringing people together is one of my life's obligations, one bestowed upon me from a young age and one I derive much pleasure out of..And one of difference, not indifference, a life lived with dignity and tenderness, humility and conciousness. To fight to protect the invaluable life on this planet, in the wild, in the trees, in the oceans, in the breeze. The more I live, the more I feel and see, the more I'm convinced that my mission in life is chasing me..to protect the planet that has been home to me, wherever I've lived, so graciously and so free..
Listen, Learn and Love always,
R
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